the past | excerpts



Of Motivation
[March 8, 2007]
I do this for me, but I've been thrilled and flattered by the number of people who drop by. I appreciate every hit my blog gets. Every comment, every email, every bit of it... I am thankful.

To Be A Man
[March 2, 2007]
A series of chuckles from down the hall told me that this was a fine time to experiment. I reached into my book-bag in search of something I'd picked up at school that day.

The Man From 237
[February 20, 2007]
If only our walls were thicker, I wouldn't have to know.

Ghosts
[May 26, 2006]
Eleven year old boys aren't supposed to see their own names on tombstones, but that's the risk that comes with sharing your father's name.

Grandma's Gifts
[March 1, 2006]
I'll be honest with you, I didn't even know that could be done! I had no idea you could mail a package across two continents, not to mention Central America, without using airmail.

She Called Me Rob
[February 28, 2006]
When I was a kid, they called me Bob. My father was a Bob, and my step-father was a Bob. I once had a fish named Bob, but needless to say, he didn't last long.

I Eat Fewer Bananas Due To The Death Of Analog Phones
[December 29, 2005]
It was the spring of 1991, and my college roommate, Jeff, and I were on a banana binge.

Two Sides, And The Rest
[November 22, 2005]
As I tell the stories that are my life, I realize I'm only telling one side. I'm telling my side. But I'm not foolish enough to assume there isn't another. I also know there's a lot more to the story than what I'm writing.

Joliet, Illinois
[November 13, 2005]
I imagined a grumpy man. Mean even. He had hate in his heart - or so I imagined. "Why else would he be so distant from his own family?"

The Guy Down The Hall
[November 3, 2005]
She said that, on those weekend mornings when she stayed with him, they used to lie in bed with the door propped open. She kept her eyes fixed on me as the words left her lips, then she quickly looked away.

Bummed Out
[August 16, 2005]
Immediately after Hot 100 was blown up, I spotted a noticeable change around town. In a metro area of more than five million people, that's really saying something.

The Snake
[July 17, 2005]
I wanted to panic. Jeff angrily scolded Billy, but Billy didn't seem to notice. His eyes were fixed on mine, not the snake. Somehow, that told me everything I needed to know.

April, 1983
[July 6, 2005]
It was a sunny spring evening in Columbus Georgia. The winter had been wet. We'd even had snow at one point. But today was a sunny day, and all of Columbus seemed to be basking in it. Myself included. But not for long.

Preface To A Dark Tale
[July 6, 2005]
Years ago, these were the thoughts that haunted me. They followed me around as if taunting me, reminding me of the many reasons I'd never be like all of the other boys. Them, with their perfect families, perfect eyes and perfect lives.

What Money Can't Buy
[March 30, 2005]
How crazy that hatred of you leads to love of everyone else? It is bizarre, I know, but I tell you this and it is not an exaggeration: you saved me.

After The Funeral
[March 8, 2005]
My father killed himself on Tuesday, March 8th, 1983. I was eleven years old. This is the story of what happened next.

Superb Usage Of The Word "Dude," And A Fish
[March 1, 2005]
He was carrying a fish in a plastic bag, half filled with water. He walked right up to the airport security people, plopped the bag with his wet friend on the little ramp that carried it through the x-ray machine. The conversation that followed was a classic.

Kickball
[February 4, 2005]
The date is March 8th, 1983: It's a sunny morning in Columbus Georgia, and I'm at school. The bell rings. It's time for gym class. CRAP!!!!

Sneaker
[January 28, 2005]
A rainy night, a cat, a full house and lots of sound-alikes make for a funny, yet sad, story. And it's a true story as well...

A Holiday To Forget
[December 23, 2004]
Oh god, she's going to have a meltdown. I haven't even had breakfast yet. Not a cup of coffee nor a fucking muffin, and I've got to deal with Ms. Doomandgloom? No.

The Seventh C
[December 21, 2004]
Jeff let out a ghastly sneeze as his papers scattered. "Awe fuck." He'd been muttering 'C' words under his breath for the last five minutes or so.

Winged Migration
[November 15, 2004]
As the years passed, I stopped noticing the changes that autumn brings. I was too preoccupied with changes in my own life - often making winged migrations of my own.

Your Redneck Past
[September 19, 2004]
Every now and then my childhood creeps back out for a quick hello. and I'm reminded that things haven't always been this way. Today's white-knuckled childhood flashback was inspired by Warner Brothers Studios, which is filming a Dukes Of Hazzard movie as we speak.

Six Squares
[September 16, 2004]
Most of the seats were already taken by what appeared to be a shellshocked class, so we ended up sitting on opposite sides of the room. As each student walked through the door, the seated students gave a look that said "Turn back! Turrrn BAAACK!!! Too late - it's doom... DOOOOM!!!!"

Naps And The Loop
[September 3, 2004]
The sky was crystal clear on the afternoon of August 2nd as I sat in my apartment pondering what I should do. Hurricane Erin was expected to make landfall within 12 hours somewhere in central Florida, and I was trying to figure out what I needed to try to save, and what could be lost to the inevitable flood.

Sully & Pavlov
[August 26, 2004]
Pavlov rang a bell. Sully smacked my studio door while running down the hall. The effect was pretty much the same really, though Pavlov's dog wasn't legally obligated to pollute. Or was he?

Good Luck Florida!
[August 12, 2004]
You've got some crazy ass dimpled chadding can't drive tanning their way to melanoma hell people in your state, but I've got my fingers crossed for each and every one of them.

Youth, And My Sore Ass
[August 10, 2004]
My ass hurts. And it's a beautiful feeling because it signals progress... Progress with an ouch, but progress nonetheless.

Making The Grade
[August 9, 2004]
My favorite college project story is far less brilliant than FedEx or Pitchformula, but highly effective nonetheless. Ahhh, I remember it like it was just ten years ago...

The Eternal Optimist
[August 3, 2004]
"You know the old saying about the glass being half empty or half full? Well, my glass is twice as big as it needs to be because I've got more on the way." She grinned a spectacular smile that told me she got the joke, and that she knew I wasn't kidding.

I Walked In On Them
[August 2, 2004]
No, this wasn't meant for me to see. I was becoming a man of the world, living in two cities at the same time. Surely this gave me a broader perspective than most. It's not as if I was some sort of six year old...

Water
[July 30, 2004]
"Go with your uncle Fred to keep him out of trouble. Make sure he doesn't stay out too long. You know how he gets when he's on the boat." Little did she know that I was becoming part of the reason he'd be gone so long.

The Ring
[July 26, 2004]
"If I had a ring..." I began, not really having a roadmap for the words I wanted to say. I reached into my jacket as if fetching something from a pocket deep inside, and I continued. "If I had a ring... and I asked you..."

My Way Out
[July 20, 2004]
I was 11 years old and somehow supposed to understand the undoing of a man in his 30's as he was laid into the ground during snow flurries in March, 1983. Pennsylvania was cold that morning, but surely I felt colder.

Minutes And Memories
[July 6, 2004]
Darkness doesn't cloak Portland until after nine these days - but I'm not fooled. We've already reached the time of year when we lose a minute of daylight each evening. It's the first sign of things to come...

Two Years
[July 5, 2004]
What better way to remind myself of the many reasons I moved to Portland? Two years ago, I was interviewing for a job I really didn't want in Philadelphia - returning to a life in Dallas Texas that I really didn't want either.

The House That Beer Built
[May 25, 2004]
The upstairs was a huge space carpeted in throw rugs and divided by walls of cloth stapled to the ceiling. It's hilarious to think about it now, but as a child it was all I knew. Isn't every grandmother's home just like this?

From '94 To '04
[May 6, 2004]
"This new 'Friends' show has to suck! A pretentious one-word title and a cast of nobodies." Oops. Meanwhile: what did *I* do with the next ten years? My life was pretty good back in the fall of '94... so ripe with promise and potential... What did I build?

The Morning Of March 8th, 1983
[April 6, 2004]
I was probably the last person to see him alive, and I remember it well. I got out of bed for who knows what reason... getting out of bed at 2am wasn't something I did when I was little.

You, My Love, Are Chicago In The Spring
[March 18, 2004]
Its lakeshore begging for company and its museums with so much to show gazing eyes. You are a cafe on Michigan Avenue. You are a part of everyone and everyone is a part of you...


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