The Holiday Shift

I think we should make a list of all of the late-December holidays. I'm talking about Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Winter Solstice... Boxing Day... Santa Lucia Day... surely there are others.

Let's make a list of them all. Then, every other year, let's all shift our chosen holiday one place down the list. On even years, you return to celebrating your own holiday. On odd years, you return to the list, shifting down to the next holiday in order to learn about someone else's holiday by celebrating it with gusto.

Christians have been celebrating Christmas for hundreds of years. That's all fine and good, but come on... I think they've pretty much got that one down. In the next odd year, let's give them Hanukkah. For the next even year, they'll get Christmas back, and then the next year, they'll celebrate Kwanzaa. I want to see the Pope light the Mishumaa Saba. Damn straight!

And for the Jews... They'd celebrate Hanukkah in the even years. Next odd year, give 'em Kwanzaa. Then back to Hanukkah, and then, in the next, they get whatever's next on the list. Ramadan perhaps.

And all of the people whom celebrate Kwanzaa... let's give them Christmas in the next odd year. Not only that... we should ask them to hip that sucker up a bit. Jesus! Could Christmas BE any whiter of a holiday? First on the list of changes - get rid of the red hat with the little white fluff ball at the end. Surely there's a better option - something with style.

Subtle changes to each holiday are permissible - but that's not really the point.

The point is understanding.

I know jack-squat about Kwanzaa, and that ain't right. I know jack about Hanukkah too, which is odd since I know a guy named Jack who celebrates Hanukkah. I'm certain I'm not alone in terms of cluelessness there.

I bet the average Christian can't even spell Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa.

If you can't even spell it, how can you know anything about it - let alone having even the slightest understanding of the people who celebrate it?

For even years, you celebrate your chosen holiday. For odd years, shift one down the list and celebrate it with gusto. Absodamnlutely.

::::: | Friday, Dec 30 2011 at 8:22 PM
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Amber said:

I like it! This year I celebrated non-denominational winter federal holiday (because I'm a secular humanist working with the ACLU to kill babies and take your guns), and it just didn't have the same pizzaz that you get with other holidays.

::::: | December 28, 2005 9:07 AM

holidazed said:

Amen brother! Amen!

::::: | December 28, 2005 10:12 PM

Mari said:

I think this is a fabulous idea... I think I will seriously do this next year... I will put various holidays in a hat and pick one... I'll let you know how it goes :) You are definitely invited to the celebration if one is warranted!

::::: | December 29, 2005 4:40 PM

kara said:

Happy New Year and keep on blogging!

::::: | December 31, 2005 11:55 AM

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