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I'm Just Axin' A Question

Which of my friends is most likely to be an ax murderer? Here's a hint - the fact that you're reading this means the odds are higher that it’ll be you. I say this because my friends are more likely read my blog. Hi friend! Put down the ax.

This is why I believe it’s best to whittle down your circle of friends. The larger the number of friends, the more difficult it is to figure out which one of those sons of bitches the ax murderer is most likely to be.

I can at least feel good about the fact that my friends are cool enough to not murder me in a lame way. Poison? Seriously? How much of a wuss death would that be? There's nothing awesome about being killed by poison. Ah, but an ax! You can’t deny the sexiness of an ax. There's absolutely no way to explain that a loved one was killed with an ax without someone saying "Really?"

Yes, really!

Don't believe me? Go ahead then. Try it.

Try the explaining part, I mean, not the part about killing someone with an ax. Oh, god! Are you one of my friends? And you're thinking about killing someone with an ax? SEE!!! I told you this day would come.

It's not easy when you're always right.

Knowing my luck, one of my friends would just attack me with a can of axe body spray. I’d die of humiliation from being attacked by axe rather than dying from the axe itself - although that stuff is pretty bad. And have you seen the commercials? They’re horrific. But do you know what’s even more horrific? An actual ax, especially when it’s being wielded by one of your friends. The question is, which one of you will it be? Here's a hint - the fact that you're reading this means the odds are higher that it’ll be you. I say this because my friends are more likely read my blog. Hi friend! Put down the ax.

This is why I believe it’s best to whittle down your circle of friends. The larger the number of friends, the more difficult it is to figure out which one of those sons of bitches the ax murderer is most likely to be.

I can at least feel good about the fact that my friends are cool enough to not murder me in a lame way. Poison? Seriously? How much of a wuss death would that be? There's nothing awesome about being killed by poison. Ah, but an ax! You can’t deny the sexiness of an ax. There's absolutely no way to explain that a loved one was killed with an ax without someone saying "Really?"

Yes, really!

Don't believe me? Go ahead then. Try it.

Try the explaining part, I mean, not the part about killing someone with an ax. Oh, god! Are you one of my friends? And you're thinking about killing someone with an ax? SEE!!! I told you this day would come.

It's not easy when you're always right.

::::: | Tuesday, Dec 07 2010 at 11:04 PM
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Comments:


Kim said:

First, be smart from the very beginning...

::::: | December 8, 2010 3:38 AM


Rob said:

...yikes!

::::: | December 8, 2010 8:58 AM


Jaaak said:

I dig the circular logic here. That made me laugh. I can't believe you got me to read the thing twice.

::::: | January 4, 2011 9:41 PM




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