Jalpuna

Hate, Heart And Hope

I'm surprised by the fear in this head of mine.
I'm surprised by the strength in this heart of mine.

I try like hell to know one from the other, but I can be mistaken about the head and the heart, the feelings from each part, as well as the functions they serve. I know that both will someday cease.

I hope my head goes first.

I can't imagine the horror of living, even if only for a moment, after my heart stops beating. I can't imagine the horror of knowing the end had come with a certainty that I'd be powerless to prevent it. Death will find us all. I hope my head goes first.

I'm surprised by the hate in this head of mine.
I'm surprised by the joy in this heart of mine.

I hope my hate goes first.

I should learn to accept my flaws but I choose to hate them instead. I should learn to accept the flaws of others but I attempt to fix them instead. I hate myself when I foolishly try and fail but I hate myself more if I don't try at all. Failure will find us all. I hope my hate goes first.

I'm surprised by the doubt in this head of mine.
I'm surprised by the hope in this heart of mine.

My hope feels like a thirst.

I long for the honor of giving a woman my heart. I can't imagine the honor of giving a woman my name. My name is worthless. It is difficult as well, but it's all I have. In many ways it is all I am. Fate will find us all. My hope feels like a thirst.

I'm surprised by the angst in this head of mine.
I'm surprised by the love in this heart of mine.

My heart could easily burst.

I contain my angst as I contain any negative emotion: mostly concealed but rarely defeated. I contain my heart as I contain the sky, but this defeat I gladly accept, knowing the atmosphere provides room to soar. Love will find us all. My heart could easily burst.

My head.
My hate.
My heart.
My hope.
I know they all will someday cease.

I hope my hate goes first.

::::: | Wednesday, Mar 17 2010 at 8:32 PM
::::: |


Comments:


I'm Not Saying said:

Well shit. This one made me cry. I'm not sure I totally get it but it move me

::::: | March 17, 2010 10:50 PM


I'm Not said:

Damn laptop! IT MOVED ME.

::::: | March 17, 2010 10:52 PM


idongetit said:

Why would your hope ever cease?

::::: | March 18, 2010 6:16 PM


Rob said:

Grin! Here are two examples of when hope will cease:

#1: If you find that which you've been hoping for, you don't have to hope for it anymore.

#2: ...uhm... Death. Hope won't do much good after that. Not unless you know something I don't. Grin again!

::::: | March 18, 2010 6:21 PM


g said:

i like it. i kind of hate hope, frequently though.

::::: | December 30, 2011 1:36 AM




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