Cycle: C-Y-C-L-E

Man, I hate waiting. I hate that even more than I hate being at school on a Saturday for this stupid spelling bee. I've gotta wait for my turn to spell one stupid word, and then I've gotta wait for all these other stupid kids to go before it's my turn again. GOD!!!

I've gotta be smarter than any of 'em if I'm gonna make my dad proud. And that's what I'm gonna do. Because I have to. And I bet all the other kids know it too. I see how they look at me, like that girl over there... What are YOU looking at, four-eyes?!? Yeah, that's right. Look away.

HHhmmm... Maybe I'll get lucky and a bunch of these kids will make mistakes. People make mistakes all the time, right? This next kid looks really smart. Give him a tough word. I hope he goofs up.

"...Schedule: S-C-H-E-D-U-L-E. Schedule."

"...That is correct."

Crap. He got an easy one. Schedule is just like school, so who's gonna screw that up? Geez, they're gonna run out of easy words before it's my turn again. Well I don't need easy words because I'm a great speller, so I'll be OK. I'm a great speller, just like my dad. I hope this girl isn't.

"...Believable: B-E-L... I... E ....V... A-B-L-E. Believable."

"...That is correct."

Yeah, she's not gonna last much longer. She almost blew it there, right in the middle of her word.

Girls can't be great spellers. Everybody knows that. Spelling is about language and men created that. Girls are supposed to do girl stuff, like washing and cooking. That's what my dad says. He says men created language so we could tell women how to do stuff right. That's why we're better at this stuff.

This next kid looks like a dope. He's definitely gonna make a mistake.

"...Business: B-U-S... N... E... S-S. Business."

"...That is incorrect."

HA! That's wrong. There's an I in business. I's are easy for me to remember. The last time mom made a mistake she got a black eye, so I don't forget I's. Dad's not mean though. He's just teaching us to do stuff right the first time. It's a guy thing that girls don't understand. Dad gave mom another chance though. He's always giving her second chances because he's kind.

"...February: F-E-B... U-R... A-R-Y? Febur...ary?"

"...That is incorrect."

Another kid gone! Awesome. I hope more of these kids make mistakes. My dad is the smartest person I know and even HE makes mistakes. Sometimes. When he hit me the other day, he said he didn't mean to. That means he made a mistake, right? It's just that he loves me so much and he doesn't want me to make mistakes too. He was doing a crossword puzzle in the paper and I guess he thought I wasn't smart enough to help him with it. But I'm a great speller and I just wanted to help. He'll see when I win the spelling bee. I'm a great speller. I'm gonna make him proud.

"...Misspell: M-I-S-S-P-E-L-L. Misspell."

"...That is correct."

Awe, come on! That's not fair. How could anybody misspell the word misspell at a spelling bee? That kid got lucky. They should have given him a harder word like jabberwocky or bloviate. Save the easy ones for the girls because they need the help. Especially the four-eyed girl. Yeah. She's up next.

I think her name is Cathleen but everybody calls her Catty. Catty Coates. I guess she's not so bad. For a girl, anyway. Maybe she'll get an easy word.

"...Illusion...? May I have the definition please?"

"...Allusion: An implied or indirect reference, especially in literature."

Everybody says Catty is creepy, but I bet she's just quiet, like me. I saw her dad pick her up from school one day and, man, he looked mad. She hit her head when he grabbed her and shoved her into the car. He slapped her too. Knocked her glasses right off. I guess he was teaching her to be on time or something. That just means he cares. Right? I was scared when I didn't see her at school for a few days though. I remember when I had to miss a few days of school after my dad got mad, so I know what that's like. My mom wrote me a note to tell the principal I was sick, but I wasn't. I bet Catty's mom did that too.

"...Allusion: A-L-L-U-S-I-O-N. Allusion."

"...That is correct."

Way to go Catty. Hmpht. I guess girls can be good spellers too. If their dads love them enough, I mean.

::::: | Tuesday, Aug 18 2009 at 12:23 AM
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