I Don't Believe In Giving Equal Rights To "Same-Sex Partners"

I believe in marriage. Not only do I believe in it, I dream of it. My heart soars with the idea of walking down the isle and exchanging vows.

"With this ring, I..."

...I give her the rest of my life, and she gives me hers. And from that day forward, we are one - not only in spirit, but also as defined by law. Absofuckinglutely. And that's why this article in the New York Times offends me:

Obama on Spot as Rulings Aid Gay Partners

Just seven weeks into office, President Obama is being forced to confront one of the most sensitive social and political issues of the day: whether the government must provide health insurance benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees.

The answer is absolutely, positively and unquestionably, NO.

No, the government should not provide heath benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees! En. Oh. NO! No, as in, no fucking way. Period. End of story.

I don't believe the government of the United States - my goddamn country - has any business being in the discrimination business. Period. End of story.

Creating a legal definition of "Same-Sex Partners" is discrimination. Luckily, there's a handy-dandy way for our government to avoid being a discriminator: All we have to do is legalize marriage for same-sex couples.

...hey! Neato! Look how easy that was :)

Have we forgotten about the whole separation of church and state thing? I ask, because, if we have, then I'm going to create The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, in which only gays can be married. Being that I'm straight, I could be a priest in the church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, since as we all know, priests are celibate.

Ok, I'm not really celibate... I'm just in a really crappy dating dry spell - but then again, priests aren't really celibate either. They just fuck their altar boys while the church protects them (meanwhile, nuns get nothing. That's gotta suck - but it's a topic for another day).

Christian Priests have sex with little boys; thus, as a priest of the church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, I'll be able to have sex with women (which brings us back to the whole "terminally single" issue... but that, too, is a topic for another day)

We, as a people, need to decide whether a marriage is a religious undertaking or a legal one. If it religious, then fine... religions can discriminate against anyone they choose (assuming those churches are willing to give up their tax-exempt status, naturally). On the other hand, if we choose to have marriage be a legal bond, with legal benefits, then discrimination is unacceptable.

I'm going to emphasize that last part because it's important: If marriage is a legal bond, discrimination is unacceptable. I don't give a damn if a marriage is accepted in a religious institution. I care whether or not my government discriminates.

I don't believe in giving equal rights to "same-sex partners". The term "same-sex partners" is a fraud that means not-equal.

I believe in giving equal rights to all marriages, be they straight or gay. What I don't believe in is discrimination.

::::: | Thursday, Mar 12 2009 at 11:54 PM
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