A Letter From Rory Escobar

"More Inches = More Sex"

This is what Rory Escobar would like me to believe. Thanks for the email Rory, but I think we both know that's not how it works.

More girlfriend = more sex.
Less girlfriend = less sex.
As for me? I have no girlfriend. Not that I'd be having much sex right now even if I had one. I'm still a head full of goo thanks to my cold. God damn cold!!!!

God damn these mother fucking spammers too!!!! I quit checking my spam folder for a few days while I was under the weather and look what happened.

How is anyone supposed to keep up with that? I can't just ignore it since one out of every 1,000 or so emails that get caught in the spam filter turns out to be legitimate. In this case... to hell with it. "Why didn't I get back to you? I was sick."

Delete All = no spam.

Rory Escobar... sheesh! Where do spammers come up with their never ending supply of fantastic fake names?

Rene Covington.
Eula Woodward.
Rita Coffman.
Aida Marcum.
Dora Crocker.
Stephan Wyatt.
Sally Crandall.
Adele Vickers.
Ali Sykes.
Ira Conner.
Brenda Harmon.
Hazel Crowley.
Dana Snell.
Andy Watkins.
Ken Strickland.
Coleen Goss.
Leanna Sutton.
Damien Grady.
Aimee Ott.

If only spam subject lines were as good as the fake names.

"Guy Fucks Latina Tranny." Come on now. That's not right. It should be a Latino tranny. Everybody knows that.

"Kenton's elephant dick!" How is this an effective title for an advertisement?

"Prove your manliness! Take Megadik and be a man!" Ooh, the hard sell... wink wink, nudge nudge.

"Chang's plumping fuckstick" Uhm... WHAT?!? ...never-mind.

I wonder if we'll ever find a way to defeat spam.

I wonder if we'll ever find a way to defeat the common cold.

::::: | Saturday, Oct 13 2007 at 5:00 PM
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riye said:

At least you have something that relates to the "inches" in question. I got bombarded by Viagra spam and then when I deleted them all they were followed up with spam selling anti-depressants. Clearly, in their minds, the only reason I did not respond to their offers was because I was depressed about my penis. Or maybe my lack of a penis. Who knows?

::::: | February 4, 2009 3:27 PM

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