Statutory Rape

Maybe it's just me, but, I really don't think statutory rape makes for proper public conversation.

I'm guessing you want the background story on that thought.


...so I'm waiting for an elevator. It arrives. Ding! "Finally."

As the doors open, a large voice attached to an even larger woman inside the elevator belts out the phrase "The only friend I have on my myspace page so far is that guy who got busted for statutory rape."

...I don't want to be on an elevator with people talking about statutory rape.

...I don't want to be on an elevator with people talking about rape, period.

...I don't even want to be on an elevator with people talking about anything statutory.

Meanwhile, the voice inside my head says "Wait for the next elevator" which means, naturally, that I'm going to join the crowd in this elevator.

It's like a car accident. You don't want to look, and yet...

...so I'm stepping into the elevator. I only have to go up four floors. It'll be ok. Right? Oh, god, we're going down into lower level parking first.

Woman #2: "How old was the guy when it happened?"
Woman #1: "He was in his 40s."
Woman #2: "And the girl?"
Woman #1: "She was 16.'
Woman #2: "And..."

Finally, the voice in my head manages to drown out the conversation by screaming "La la La LA! I Can't Hear You!"

Woman #1: "Awe, you know how it goes, I'm sure he was thinking it was just one of those one-night things."

I say to the voice in my head:
"Dammit, voice! Why'd you stop screaming?"

The voice in my head says to me:
"Dammit, Rob! Why'd you get on the elevator?"

Touche, voice.


::::: | Tuesday, Jul 17 2007 at 5:31 PM
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Michael J. West said:

I laughed for quite a while at that one. :-)

::::: | July 18, 2007 5:56 AM

Alice said:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! There are so many odd people out there with 'eewwww' written all over them. I bet if you looked in her wallet you'd find a Costco card. That is where I work. She was probably on her way to better my day.

::::: | July 18, 2007 7:49 AM

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