Go Ahead, Bitch, Give Me What You've Got

I'm going to preface the thought that follows by saying that I *KNOW* this is awful, but at least I'm honest.

When a tropical storm forms in the Atlantic, I root for it to become a hurricane. When it becomes a hurricane, I root for it to gain strength.

I vividly remember watching a battery operated TV in central florida during the summer of '95 as Hurricane Erin slammed on shore nearby. As the weathermen reported the storm's wind speed, I was secretly hoping for more. "I believe in you, Erin" I thought to myself. "Whirl just a little faster! You weren't meant to be a lowly category one storm. You're so close to a two. You can do it. I know you can."

Keep in mind that I had everything to lose and nothing to gain. I'd already fled my apartment, expecting the worst. But even then, I rooted for the storm.

It's what I do.

What's three inches of snow when you could have a foot? Or two! And maybe a coat of ice along the top, kind of like a cake with sickly-sweet frosting that you're just going to have to scrape off anyway.

This week's heat-wave is no different. Once the temperature rises above 85 degrees, I'm going to be miserable anyway, so what's a few more, eh?

What I really wanted this week was for partly cloudy skies and highs in the 60s. Clearly that's not going to happen.

It's almost as if Mother Nature doesn't give a damn that I bought a few button down long sleeve shirts. They make me look oh so snappy, and I *KNOW* Mother Nature is aware. I see her checking me out as I stroll around town (and I do stroll, by the way). I even held my new shirts out the window and shouted at the sky "I WANT TO WEAR THESE THIS WEEK!"

Surely Mother Nature has a sense for fashion. Why wouldn't she want to see me look my best? It is as if she is conspiring against me.

Well, I can't have it my way every time, and since I'm nothing if not a team player, I say to mother nature - have it your way.


Today's high temp is expected to hit 106 in Portland, but so far, all I see is 101. Oh, fuck that. As long as we're breaking a record, we might as well really shatter it.

Come on, Mother Nature. Give me what you've got. Give it to me good.

::::: | Tuesday, Jul 10 2007 at 4:14 PM
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Jos said:

Fuhgeddabout the cake! I'm a FROSTING GIRL. First, bring it to a boil...

::::: | July 10, 2007 7:17 PM

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