A Game Of Fiction Scrabble

A while ago, I jotted down a few different ways of playing Scrabble - creatively. This past Sunday evening, I finally found someone to take me up on one of them.

We played a game of Fiction Scrabble.

Fiction Scrabble is basically Scrabble with fake words. In order to play a word, one must be able to pronounce it and either define it or use it in a sentence.


The highlight of the game...

Her turn: "The word is WANZ. So, it's a pretty common trick for magicians to pull a pigeon out of a hat, you know? But that's a lot of stress on the pigeons, and they don't always make it. Every now and then, a magician will horrify an audience by pulling a dead bird from his hat. Anyway... magicians refer to the dead bird - the dead pigeon - as a 'wanz'."

My turn: "It's funny you should mention that, because - and this is a true story," I said, while removing a single letter from my mini church-pew for Scrabble letters. "I went to China back in 2001. One night, a few of us Americans went to dinner at a place that supposedly served an 18 course meal. Well, the 18 courses were really just 18 dumplings. Each dumpling was different though. I mention this because one of the 18 dumplings was pigeon."

"Now, as I'm sure you know, a pigeon dumpling is a pigeon dumpling is a pigeon dumpling. It's a common thing. But every now and then, the pigeon in the pigeon dumpling is, in fact, a dead-magician-pigeon. The Chinese have a name for this, when it's a dead-magician-pigeon-dumpling. They call that dumpling a WANZI."

Fiction Scrabble is the ultimate game for a bullshitter. YAY! Obviously, we weren't keeping score.

The problem with Fiction Scrabble is that I've already forgotten what a Donkle is. I've only a vague recollection of Yix (it's some sort of goo), and I can't recall when one is supposed to shout "Yeoo!"

A word I definitely do recall is VOTS. I had a long story to go with it, but a faster explanation would be this...

Do you remember the whole tainted spinach ordeal from a few months ago? Or maybe the Taco Bell onions? Let's just say, either of those would have given you a serious case of the vots.

Come to think of it, I think poor Simon is just getting over a bad case of the vots. Puke and diarrhea, puke and diarrhea. Yick! Yix? ...nevermind.


The next version of Scrabble I need to try:
"Craigslist Scrabble"

For Craigslist Scrabble, everything counts so long as it's either misspelled or misused in a manner that makes you look stupid.

'To' is acceptable so long as you mean the number 2, or 'also'. 'Loose' is acceptable so long as you meant 'lose,' and acronyms are fair game, whether they mean anything or not. Also, you can add a suffix to anything, because, as we all know, craigslist is making everyone stupider.

...not that I don't love me some craigslist...

::::: | Tuesday, Mar 06 2007 at 9:30 PM
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Sharkbait said:

Can I intrest u in a game of Craigslist Scrabbble? I'll be in Portland tmw!

::::: | March 7, 2007 6:47 AM

Michael J. West said:

I remember playing a game of Scrabble with a friend in college. He put down the word "quire" and demanded double points. When I asked him to explain this weird word, he happily replied, "Well, before you can require something, you have to quire it!"

::::: | March 7, 2007 10:24 AM

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