Jalpuna

I Hope The Wind Changes

This isn't a post about doom and gloom, because... well... shit. What good would that do?

Sometimes life sucks. Other times, it soars.

I've written about how bad my life has been lately, so there's no sense dwelling on it. Three weeks ago, Tucker died. Fuck, FuCk, FUCK! Sadness. Two weeks ago, my loft flooded. Fuck, FuCk, FUCK! Last week, my computer got hit by a power surge strong enough to pass through a surge protector. Fuck, FuCk, FUCK!

To make matters worse, I had to take Simon to the vet yesterday because, somehow, he cut his back foot. Honestly, at this point, I'm more afraid of the vet than he is.

I've been shoveling money into the abyss lately, and it's gotten scary. In three weeks, I went from zero debt with money in the bank to three grand in the hole. Or so it seemed.

I spent my entire Sunday trying to figure out what was wrong with my computer. It began crashing again when in the morning, and by 2pm, I was ready to pitch it and buy a new one - debt be damned.

I put on a jacket, grabbed my wallet and keys, tied my shoes, and opened the door to leave... but when I took one look at my hallway, I said "oh, FUCK this."

I'd heard the restoration company ripping apart the hallway, but seeing it was worse than hearing it.

Fuck all of this.

I walked back into my loft and ripped apart my computer, removing everything I could and then restarted it each time to see if I'd eliminated the problem. As I was swapping out the last stick of RAM to be sure each worked, I spotted something long forgotten... "what's this, behind the video card?"

I forgot that I'd installed a SCSI card a few years ago. I removed it, and the computer booted. 100% trouble free.

Apparently, the power surge that hit my computer last week fried the SCSI card. Well, that's fine since I sold all of my SCSI gear a few months ago (actually, I traded it on craigslist for a bottle of wine. I mean, really... what more can you expect these days for a 1 gig SCSI drive?)

Long story short - A-Fucking-HA!

I think I've solved my computer problems!

...and that brings me back to today's post. I woke today hoping that things would get better, and sixteen hours later, I can say that maybe they have.

And for now, 'maybe' is good enough.

Simon's cut foot turned out to be two cut feet ("TWF buddy!"), but the vet said it's no big deal. He's on antibiotics, and should be fine in less than two weeks.

My computer problems appear to be solved - at least for now. I'll pay off my vet-debt, and then buy a new computer early next year. My current computer is four years old anyway, so, by then, it'll be time.

I feel like I've turned a corner. Things from here on out are looking up, because frankly, I'll accept nothing less. What other option do I have?

There are things in this world you can control, and things you can't.

My building is a mess, but I'm taking a calculated gamble that it will get better. I really believe it will.

My computer is shaky, but I think I can make it last for a few more months, which is enough time to pay off my vet debt. I'll cross my fingers and see.

My buddy Simon will have to tolerate two weeks of very yucky medicine. So be it.

All of this shall pass. For now, knowing that... well.... it's enough.

And speaking of hope that the wind changes... it's time to post this week's Music Monday post (as it will be monday in less than a minute).

::::: | Sunday, Nov 19 2006 at 11:59 PM
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