I knew what you wanted.
You wanted a happily ever after, like the one you'd seen in the movies time and time again.
Well, I had you at hello, but I lost you at "My name is Rob" because, apparently, you'd already forgotten.
I'm not Alex.
Not Kevin or Ryan or Justin, or any of the multi-syllabled men from your past, but I'm not the man of your future either.
While I talked of climbing the Great Wall of China, I watched you build a greater wall dividing the two feet of space that laid between us.
You said "I'm gonna' die alone"
...building brick by brick.
You said "I guess I've always known."
...building brick by brick.
Oh, but when you kissed me... where was your mortar then?
She'll never know if she could have had a happily ever after, because she wrote the ending before any of the roles in her movie had been cast.
Apparently, she'd never heard of a rewrite.
My entire adult life is a fucking rewrite. The script gets better every time.
Oh, she knows all about the edited version. She lives it. In the original script she talked herself out of even going out with him. Figured it wasn't worth the effort of shaving her legs (just in case), the endless blowdrying (please dont rain, please dont rain), applying the GOOD mascara (not the crap from the drugstore that she wears to work). The prep work of making herself feel pretty, and the marathon phone calls to her closest girlfriends encouraging her to actually go out with him ("What have you got to lose? You said he seems nice. Maybe he wont be another Alex or Jason") last longer then the date itself. But she edited her life and made herself go and take a chance on not-Alex. And for what? For the same reason he went. They were doomed from the start. See, his roles were cast, too. The role of the leading lady is beng held for Cameron Diaz, with Janeane Garofalo as the wise-crackin' best friend. No one else will possibly do in either role in the screenplay of his life. Because he believes in fairy tales, too.
Actually, the above post was a true story. I was dating a woman with whom I had amazing chemistry and there was definitely potential for something more. We dated for two months, more or less. A month into it, we were talking about the things we hoped for someday - not for us as a couple (it was too soon for that sort of talk). We were just talking in general. I talked about getting married someday and seeing the world. I talked about some of the places I've been, and how much better it would have been to share the experiences with a real love. A wife. That's when she said "I don't hope for that kind of thing when it comes to relationships. The 'forever' thing, I mean. I'm gonna die alone. I guess I've always known."
I couldn't help noticing the unintentional rhyme, but even more than that, I felt bad for her. I felt a little bad for me, because I knew there wasn't a chance for her and I... but I felt worse for her, because I could tell there wasn't much of a chance for her with anyone. That's a shame, because - in my eyes - she was beautiful.
Our time together was brief, but I cherished it. I've no doubt that someday I'll find love, and I'll have my happily ever after. I just hope she does too, because deep down, I know that's what she really wants. She just has some weird idea in her head that she doesn't deserve it. And that's sad.::::: | October 17, 2006 10:18 AM