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Shiver Me Timbers! It's Talk Like A Pirate Day Matey!

Ahoy! Tis' time for some pirate humor. Thar be a bounty of booty fer yer' clever plunderin'. Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum? Let's go!

(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you should probably click here)

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A pirate walks into a bar. The first thing everyone notices is that he has a large ship's wheel attatched to his crotch. The whole bar sits in stunned silence. Finally the bartender asks,

"What's the story on that ship's wheel?"

The pirate responds, "ARRR! It's drivin' me nuts!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Oh, but there's more...

Question: How much do pirates pay to pierce their ears?

Answer: A-buck-an-ear!!!

ARRR!

OH!

Oh.

Uh.

Ahem.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Moving on...

A quote from Apple CEO, Steve Jobs:

"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

Indeed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

How to pick up a pirate chick:

ARRRR! how'd ye like to climb me mast?

ARRRR! Ye mind if I drop anchor in yer lagoon?

ARRRR! Ye want t' scrape the barnacles off me rudder?

ARRRR! Drop yer panties and prepare to be boarded!

ARRRR! No, that aren't me peg leg...I'm just happy to see ye!

ARRRR! Ye want to shiver me timbers?

ARRRR! Care to make me roger jolly?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

How To Be Speakin' Pirate-Like!

Startin' Rules: Double up on all your adjectives and you'll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say never, they say "No nay ne'er!"

Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".

Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Ne'er speak in anythin' but the present tense!

Vocabulary - In which ye'll find words submitted by many pirates o'er the years, an' which comprise a loose piratical dictionary.

Ahoy: Hey!
Avast: Stop!
Aye: Yes
Black spot: to be 'placin' the black spot' be markin' someone for death.
Booty: treasure
Buccanneer: a pirate who be answerin' to no man or blasted government.
By the Powers!: an exclamation, uttered by Long John Silver in Treasure Island!
Cat o' nine tails: whip for floggin' mutineers
Corsair: a pirate who be makin' his berth in the Med-...Medi-...that sea 'tween Spain and Africa, aye!
Davy Jones' Locker: the bottom o' the sea, where the souls of dead men lie
Doubloons: pieces of gold...
Fiddlers Green: the private heaven where pirates be goin' when they die.
Furner: a ship which be yer own, not one ye steal an' plunder.
Gar: Gar!
Gentlemen o' fortune: a slightly more positive term fer pirates!
Go on the account: to embark on a piratical cruise
Grog: A pirate's favorite drink.
Jack: a flag or a sailor
Jolly Roger: the skull and crossbones, the pirate flag!
Keelhaul: a truly vicious punishment where a scurvy dog be tied to a rope and dragged along the barnacle-encrusted bottom of a ship. They not be survivin' this.
Landlubber: "Land-lover," someone not used to life onboard a ship.
Lass: A woman.
Lily-livered: faint o' heart
Loaded to the Gunwales (pron. gunnels): drunk
Matey: A shipmate or a friend.
Me hearty: a friend or shipmate.
Me: My.
Pieces o' eight: pieces o' silver which can be cut into eights to be givin' small change.
Privateer: a pirate officially sanctioned by a national power
Scallywag: A bad person. A scoundrel.
Scurvy dog!: a fine insult!
Shiver me timbers!: an exclamation of surprise, to be shouted most loud.
Son of a Biscuit Eater: a derogatory term indicating a bastard son of a sailor
Sprogs: raw, untrained recruits
Squadron: a group of ten or less warships
Squiffy: a buffoon
Swaggy: a scurvy cur's ship what ye be intendin' to loot!
Swashbucklin': fightin' and carousin' on the high seas!
Sweet trade: the career of piracy
Thar: The opposite of "here."
Walk the plank: this one be bloody obvious.
Wench: a lady, although ye gents not be wantin' to use this around a lady who be stronger than ye.
Wi' a wannion: wi' a curse, or wi' a vengeance. Boldly, loudly!
Yo-ho-ho: Pirate laughter

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Don't forget to drop by Talk Like A Pirate dot com!

Emma said:

I luv it but how do ya join it?

::::: | Posted March 12, 2007 12:14 PM

Me! said:

Hi Emma! There's nothing to join. It's just a silly thing that's being spread by word of mouth mostly.

Read about it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk_like_a_pirate_day

Cheers!

::::: | Posted March 12, 2007 12:39 PM