Check, But No Mate

A quick dating tip to pass along. Maybe this will come in handy for you someday.

I'm sure we've all been there... you invite a date out for a drink, but things aren't going very well... and you do what must be done.

You know what to do. It's a phrase... sometimes just a single word, and it works every time:

Your date says:
"...I just can't believe those liberals."
You lean towards the nearest server and say:
"...check please?"

"Did I mention my divorce? No, not that divorce.
...the other one."

"Thank fucking GOD for the free clinic down the street."

"Yeah, I've been single for a few weeks now. My ex wasn't ready to start a family, and I'm like..."
CHECK?!? PLEASE!!!?!?!?!!

So, as promised, here's the tip: Don't ever say that when you've invited a date to your place for a drink. I know it can be a reflex... but, seriously. Don't.

Trust me.

This reminder was inspired by a friend's winner of a first date.

Her date said: "...I mean, I like the environment as much as the next person, but..."


Definitely not a mate.

::::: | Tuesday, Jul 18 2006 at 11:32 AM
::::: |


Roscoe said:

Oh, how I wish I could say I've never dated anyone like that. Or, how 'bout the woman who told me that I needed to get rid of my cats if I wanted to date her. No, not allergies; she simply said she hated "the damn things." Check, please!

::::: | July 18, 2006 6:35 PM

J said:

Perhaps i should have said "Check!" when the guy I'm dating said "I collect guns...i have 12 hand guns and 2 riffles." But instead I'm going to target practice with him next time he goes!

::::: | July 19, 2006 2:02 PM

Anonymous said:

Call me a geek, but when searching for a mate and getting responses from a craigslist post, I always hit the delete button if they have an AOL account. Easier to weed them out early! LOL.

::::: | July 19, 2006 6:41 PM

riye said:

Him: You're everything I've ever wanted in a girlfriend but this is not going to work because I'm still not over my last girlfriend.

Me: You mean the one that told you she was a lesbian and you never actually had a date with?

Him: Yes her.

Never mind "Check please!" I'd settle for a warning label.

::::: | July 21, 2006 8:02 PM

Jeff said:

Wait, I've never gone to one, but what's wrong with a free clinic? Health care is expensive and help diagnosing your flu is nice.

Don't like the poor people, eh?

::::: | June 28, 2010 7:55 AM

Rob said:

It wasn't a comment about poor people or even free clinics, really. In fact, I don't think any American citizen should have to pay for health care, and the concept of health "insurance" seems nutty to me. Paying an insurance company so you'll be able to hopefully afford health care when you need it is ridiculous if you ask me. Talk about a backward system.

The free clinic comment was actually a quote I overheard at a pub a few years ago. A loud woman in the booth behind me was talking to someone about going to the free clinic a lot because she had a habit of getting drunk and ending up having unprotected sex with strangers. Overheard conversations can be hilarious!

::::: | June 29, 2010 2:57 PM

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