Burton And The Blasphemy Channel

Sometimes it's nice to have an evening with no plans.

Last night, I plopped my butt on the couch; a bowl of grapes in my hands and a cat perched on either side. Even Burton leaned in to get a better view as I turned on the TV.

Good times, eh?

My sense of blissful euphoria faded fast.

Let's see what's on CNN."

"Israel pounded southern Beirut as well as targets on the Lebanese side of the border with Syria Saturday, as Hezbollah militants fired rockets into northern Israel. The border attack targeted access roads and bridges to prevent the smuggling of weapons and possibly the whisking away of two kidnapped Israeli soldiers from Lebanon into Syria, the Israel Defense Forces said."

"Fuck that!
Let's see what's on The History Channel."

"In one of the most hostile lands on the planet, an ancient people called the Israelites forged an army and carved out an empire. Their ancient military exploits are described in one of history's most famous religious texts--the Old Testament of the Bible. But by reading between the religious lines, military historians unlock the soldiers' secrets of the Bible by examining the weapons, strategies, and the commanders"

"What? It's the same damn show!"

...come on now. Need I even point out the irony?

I flipped back and forth for two hours. It was fascinating. Both channels were showing the same map, but with different battles taking place in different millenniums.

"Wow. This is going to require more grapes."

When I returned from the kitchen, I found my TV tuned to Fox News (I suspect Burton flipped the channel. There's only so much reality he can take). George Bush was on my TV discussing a conflict rooted in ancient times as if it began last week. For someone who claims to be such a christian, he sure doesn't seem to know much about what's in the bible.

"To hell with it."

I put my grapes back in the fridge, I scolded Burton for changing the channel ("We don't watch Fox News in this household. We get our fiction at Powell's"), and I went to bed. I figured I didn't need to finish watching what was on either CNN or The History Channel since the conflict in Israel will be on both for... well... forever really.

::::: | Saturday, Jul 15 2006 at 8:32 AM
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chantel said:

I watched a documentary about Armageddon on The Learning Channel at 1:00 AM after a baby shower and a bottle of Prosecco.

What's wrong with us?

::::: | July 15, 2006 2:06 PM

HA! said:

No Fox News. "We get our fiction at Powell's" LOL!

::::: | July 15, 2006 6:12 PM

eugene girl said:

you make me so nostalgic for Portland!

::::: | July 26, 2006 8:18 AM

(won't be published)


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