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National Kiss My Ass Day

A follow up to yesterday's post and comments:

Why is there no "National Kiss My Ass Day"?
How does one establish such a day?
Clearly, there is a need - but there is no day.
Here are a few worthy dates:

July 7th. Since July 6th is National Kissing Day, by midnight that night, you'll know who did and didn't kiss you. No kiss from a particular hottie? "Kiss my ass!"
The 3rd Saturday Of October: this is actually "Sweetest Day," which is a total crock of shit. It's a goddamn Hallmark Conspiracy Day as far as I'm concerned. They can kiss my ass!
December 27th: "Hey, thanks for the new socks. Oh, and by the way, you can kiss my ass!"
July 14th, A.K.A., Bastille Day in France. If there's one thing that the entire world can agree on, it is making fun of the French. Consider it a step towards world peace. We could make this "International Kiss My Ass Day." P.S. Pepe Le Pew, you can "kiss my ass!"
January 30th: Dick Cheney's birthday. Eh, this one will become irrelevant in a few years. Still, he can kiss my ass!
Osama Bin Laden's Birthday: It's obvious to me that capturing him isn't exactly a priority. I mean, apparently, fighting Saddam Hussein was more important than capturing the man responsible for the deaths of thousands of Americans on U.S. soil. At the very least we should make an annual habit of telling him to "Kiss my ass!"
Britney Spears' Birthday: No reason. (Though that baby-dropping-bitch can kiss my ass!)
The Date Of The Republican National Convention: Good choice! ...except that it would only come around once every four years. Still, those money grubbing, war-mongering sons-of-bitches can kiss my ass!
March 20th: the date we invaded Iraq. Who the fuck thought THAT was a good idea? They. Can. Kiss. My. ASS!

J said:

I vote for July 7th! Besides the hilarious reason you gave above, this year it falls on a Friday so I can tell my boss "Karen, I'm ditching work early to go to the beach, and uh, have a happy KISS MY ASS! day." and in general most people will be taking July 3rd and 4th off so by taking the 7th off we'll have a two day work week and thus telling corporate America to KISS MY ASS!

Seriously Rob, roadtrip to the beach on July 7th so tell your clients to "Kiss your Ass!"

::::: | Posted June 23, 2006 1:05 PM

Me! said:

I once cursed out my boss. Sort of. And it fits with the theme of these wacky days...

I was working at a radio station in Dallas, and it was National Boss Day. Seriously. So, I gathered the airstaff and we marched into his office. He was on the phone (which only made this better). We crowded around his desk and stared at him until finally, he said to the person on the phone "Hang on." He then looked at us and asked "Can I help you guys?"

In unison, we shouted "FUCK YOU!" and walked out as he sat there, stunned. The last one out the door popped his head back in and said "Happy Boss' Day!"

Through the entire building, you could hear my boss howling with laughter.

God, I loved working for that guy! He was the best!

::::: | Posted June 23, 2006 1:16 PM

Michele M said:

Actually "Kiss My Ass" was the entire contents of a neatly typed resignation letter I handed to possibly the biggest sphincter muscle I've ever had the displeasure of working for. I know in the radio business you should never burn bridges, but I was happy - ecstatic, even - to put the torch to this one.

And now I hear he's selling cars and taking medication for inflammatory bowel disease.

Yesssssssss.

BYW - hope you're doing well, sweets!

::::: | Posted June 25, 2006 11:22 PM

Fuck bob the builder said:

omfg thats funny as hell!!!!!!

::::: | Posted April 25, 2008 5:31 AM