a page | from the archives
Footinmouf Syndrome
Woman At Cash Register: "The total's 14.95. Your Safeway card saved you $3.19. Not bad."
Rob: "Is that New York accent I hear?"
Woman At Cash Register: "Nope. I'm from Bosnia."
Rob: "That was my next guess..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Rob: "I'll have a Garden Burger with bacon."
Waiter: "You know it's real bacon, right?"
Rob: "Does that mean the burger's a real garden?"
Waiter: "Huh?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Aveda is where I am at my awkward-moment-best.
Somehow, I got signed up for their birthday program. This makes no sense since a bottle of their shampoo lasts a year with my short hair - and that's all I buy there. But once a year, I get a coupon for a free bottle of cologne for my birthday.
Woman at Aveda: "This one might wear a little strong."
Rob: "Oh, that's ok. Half the time, you've got to get me naked to tell if I'm wearing anything at all."
Woman at Aveda: "...?"
Rob: "Hang on. That didn't come out right at all. I meant that colognes wear really light on... tell you what... let's get back to the part where you're the one talking and I'm just smelling stuff."
Woman at Aveda: "What do you think of this?"
Rob: "I don't think a guy could get away with wearing that."
Woman at Aveda: "Oh no. My friend Daniel wears this one."
Rob: "And he's.......?"
Woman at Aveda: "Gay."
Rob: "Next."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
My favorite awkward moment memory comes from a stop at Aveda in the fall of 2004. A flamboyant salesman pumped himself a handful of goo as he turned to ask me: "So, Rob, where do you shave?"
"Uhhh... Just my face."
The answer he was looking for was 'in the shower or over the sink.'
Right.
::::: | Filed under: humor
::::: | Posted Friday, May 05 2006 at 11:56 AM
::::: | Link! | Email | Top
Mari said:
I LOVE the GardenBurger exchange! I must remember that for future use!
::::: | Posted May 5, 2006 2:43 PM
J said:
I think Footinmouf Syndrome is a very charming quality to have. :) I certainly have it!
J to an upper manager over happy hour yesterday: "Oh so you actually do something besides play solitare!" THANK GOD HE CAN TAKE A JOKE! although this is spreading through the office like...well, gossip in an office. However, I got a sincere "Thank you" from his assistant(who does all his work).
* * * * * * * *
"Does that mean the burger's a real garden?" thanks i needed a laugh today!
::::: | Posted May 5, 2006 2:53 PM
Debbie said:
Ha, Ha!!! Here's mine... I once walked in to a chinese fast food place, kids in tow, and straight-faced as could be, said "Yeah, I'd like a two-peice condom, please". Took me a few seconds to figure out why in the heck the guy started laughing, too. How I mixed up coNDOM and coMBO, I'll never know. I didn't know my skin could turn such a brilliant shade of crimson.
::::: | Posted May 8, 2006 9:19 PM
Post a comment
::::: | All Content © 2004-2008
::::: | Jalpuna is hosted by and really digs DreamHost
