Jalpuna! | Oh Shit!

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Oh Shit!

A piece of comedy going around the net... This made me laugh out loud.

Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic 2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic 3: What is this shit?
Atheism: I can't believe this shit!
Atheism 2: Shit happens for no apparent reason!
Atheism 3: What shit?
Bahaism: All sorts of Shits happen and it has One Source.
Branch Davidianism: David Koresh was the shit. Shit.. ouch.. Hot.. Shit burns
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Catholicism: Say five Hail Marry and your shit is forgiven.
Catholicism 2: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Christian Science: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Christian Science 2: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Communism: Shit is impeding you.
Communism 2: It's everybody's shit.
Confucianism: Confucius say, Shit happens.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Deism: Shit happened long ago, but its effect is still here.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Existentialism: What is shit, anyway?
Existentialism 2: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism 2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama hare hare rama rama.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Hinduism: This shit has happened before and will happen over and over again.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
Jehovah's Witnesses: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses 2: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Jehovah's Witnesses 3: >Knock< >Knock< Shit. Nobody's home.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
McDonald: You want fries with that shit?
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Mormonism: God sent us this shit through Joseph Smith.
Mormonism 2: This shit is going to happen again.
Nihilism: No shit.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Promise Keepers: Men shit bigger.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Scientology: If shit happens, see Dianetics, p.157.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Taoism: Shit happens.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Wiccan: And it harm none, let shit happen.
Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
Zen Buddhism 2: Shit is, and is not.
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.

I have no idea who the original author is, but - whoever that person may be... I salute you!

Danny Haszard said:

Up close and personal Jehovah's Witnesses can be wolves in sheep's clothing.
I was one for 33 years and they are bogus from the get-go.-Danny Haszard www.dannyhaszard.com (visit my site for fast facts on Jehovah's Witnesses)

::::: | Posted May 29, 2006 7:47 AM