It's Up To You...

...to say hello.
...to say goodbye.
...to recognize the time for each.
...to cherish the time in between.
...to let go of the past.
...to have a future.
...to be in the now.
...to live.
...to learn.
...to look.
...to leap.
...to take a risk.
...to face your fears.
...to know that fear can be helpful.
...to know that times can be hard.
...to know the struggle is worth it.
...to hold on tight when you must.
...to fail but not be a failure.
...to be hurt but not broken.
...to pick yourself back up.
...to dust yourself off.
...to cry when the time comes.
...to then be ok.
...to be strong.
...to be beautiful.
...to be who you are.
...to be imperfect.
...to be proud.
...to give it when you need to.
...to take it when you have to.
...to get through it somehow.
...to follow through to the end.
...to not be through until you are done.
...to move on when you are.
...to make a change.
...to start again.
...to take that first step.
...to look someone in the eyes.
...to share a smile.
...to be a friend.
...to be befriended.
...to be ready for more if you find it.
...to find joy in someone else.
...to find peace in yourself.
...to let yourself be known.
...to let someone in.
...to let something happen.
...to let someone know.
...to let something grow.
...to see it.
...to feel it.
...to experience it.
...to touch.
...to be touched.
...to feel more than the touch.
...to be moved.
...to be passionate.
...to love.
...to wipe that aloof smile off your fucking face if you can not, because you're wasting my time not to mention your own.

Get a dog.
Learn to knit.
Be alone.

Or make an effort
Do your part.
Meet me half way.

I'm the man sitting across the table from you now, and the night is no longer young.

It's up to you.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

This post is about a specific woman I met a few years ago. She liked being pursued. In fact, for her, dating was more a game of validating her self worth than it was about enjoying the company of the person she was with.

"I like being chased" she said, sharing a sexy smile that did not mask the selfish sexism of her phrase. "It's a girl thing."

I wanted to say that I like being treated like a living breathing and potentially loving human being rather than as the greyhound to someone's rabbit, adding that it's a decency thing.

Instead, I said that I understood - even though, honestly, I did not.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Another round for you two?" asked the waiter, politely.

My gut told me to call it a night, but as I leaned towards my date, I said the four words that were the embodiment of everything I'd been thinking about this coy woman.

"It's up to you."

::::: | Wednesday, May 03 2006 at 12:20 PM
::::: |


J said:

It's not only women who do that. I feel like i'm usually the greyhound chasing the rabbit...but if i can't catch him in a lap or so i give up. I tire easily of that game.

::::: | May 3, 2006 4:43 PM

Roscoe said:

And why, pray tell, does it so often resemble a game? It's frustrating, irritating, and almost always senseless. (I'm stopping now before I fall off my soapbox.)

::::: | May 3, 2006 7:05 PM

slick said:

To me, "it's up to you" is about more than just dating relationships - it's about all relationships you have and it's about how you personally view the world. I'll be printing this list so that I can look at it everyday and remember what it is that's up to me. Thanks.

::::: | May 4, 2006 9:42 AM

Lindsay said:

I'm glad you posted this and left the "aloof smile" part in. Sorry I haven't been in touch in a while, I was sick last week. It may have been the bird flu. Just kidding. But I really was sick. :)

::::: | May 18, 2006 4:45 PM

J said:

Rob, just thought you should know i come to this post now and then because i find it inspiring.

::::: | July 25, 2006 8:19 PM

Di said:

I don't know what to say but I just read this and felt like I needed to say something. Oh my god. I loved this. The part about being able to be hurt but not broken made me cry.

I was doing a search for Harry Potter book 7 and I found your site. I'm glad I found this page.

::::: | July 22, 2007 10:58 PM

agata said:

to be but not be scared. to create. to love and be loved. nice poem.

::::: | October 16, 2010 4:42 PM

(won't be published)


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