Brokeback Flower Pot

Dear Duncan;

What happened to you and me? How'd it go so wrong?

You used to laugh when I'd tell my stories. I'd share my problems and you'd help me see I had the answers all along. You knew I just needed to talk it through, and you helped me see that.

Remember when I said "You know it could be like this. Just like this, always" ...?

But It's not like that anymore. You used to look at me different. Different, I tell ya'. We're not like that now.

This is a one-shot thing we got goin' on here. It's nobody's business but ours. And you're wreckin' it. I feel like you're not even here sometimes. Like I'm all alone.

Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it... You're right here and I miss you because all you're givin' me is the silent treatment.

I'm gonna tell you this one time, Duncan fuckin' Dumbcain, an' I ain't foolin'. What I don't know - all them things I don't know - could get you killed if I come to know them. I ain't jokin'.

We coulda had a good life together, fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Duncan! So what you got now is Brokeback Flower Pot! Everything's built on that, that's all you got boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been on good terms these past years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on, and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing to hear your voice when it's somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't take the silent treatment an' make it on a coupla high-counter glances once or twice a year! You are too much for me Duncan, you son of a whoreson bitch... I wish I knew how to quit you.

If you can't fix it, Duncan, then you've got to stand it. And I know you're not much for talkin' so I guess I just gotta stand it.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

P.S. I've never even been to Mexico!

::::: | Saturday, Apr 29 2006 at 10:21 AM
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Roscoe said:

Yeah. Duncans are like that. They rip the heart outta your chest, chew it up, and spit out teeny-weeny pieces all over the floor. And they never take you anywhere.

::::: | April 30, 2006 10:35 PM

Mari said:

Poor Duncan... Just cause he's quiet doesn't mean he isn't hearing you and isn't feeling the same way... When someone takes a tire iron to his pot and leaves him all busted up and laying face up on the counter, drowning in his own potting mix, you'll realize how much he means to you and then where will you be?

Rob, I swear...

::::: | May 1, 2006 8:08 AM

Holy shit said:

That's the most fucked up but hilarious thing I've ever read.

I was googling quotes from brokeback mountain to win an argument with my girlfriend and it took me to your site where you used the quotes from the movie to write about your relationship with a plant.

That's fucked up! hA!

::::: | July 10, 2007 9:46 PM

Me! said:

Thanks! I more or less lifted a scene from the movie and changed it ever so slightly for the sake of being funny.

Duncan is a pretty cool plant, by the way.

::::: | July 11, 2007 9:28 AM

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