What The Toe Knows

What's the deal with toes? Somehow, mine seem to know things that average Joe-toes don't. Not only can my toes see through clothing, they can sense both density and weight of all nearby objects.

It's true.

My toes never bump into soft things. NEVER. Somebody dropped a tissue? I can almost hear a muffled "Whoa!" emerge from my socks as all ten toes work together to steer me clear of a non-obstacle like that. Bump into a blanket? Nope. If there's a pillow on the floor, my toes won't even think about going anywhere near it. No FREAKING way. But if they find a table leg... BAM!!! "OUCH!!"

A dropped towel? Nothing. I might actually trip while my toes try to pull me in the other direction.

But when they spot the side of my desk...


I assume there's a scientific explanation. Or maybe I just have cruel bastard toes. I'm not sure which... either way, I make sure the bottom of my sheets are tucked extra tight before I go to bed, because the last thing I need is to get riveted out of a deep sleep when one of my toes spots a bedpost.

It's hard enough to keep my toes in line when I'm awake. It's ten of them against one of me, and I don't like those odds.

::::: | Tuesday, Sep 13 2005 at 12:05 PM
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