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Reservoir Cats
I didn't watch TV at all during college. But, it was a damp chilly winter evening in 1994, and we didn't have anything better to do, so my roommate and I decided to rent a movie.
We'd both been so busy with college life that we were totally out of touch when it came to any recent releases... so, we did what I often do... we asked the guy at the rental place for a recommendation.
Do you do that too? ...do you look at the people who work at whatever store you might be in and make the mistake of assuming that they only exist in that context? ...that they live for their probably part-time job? The woman at Lenscrafters probably owns 75 pair of glasses, right? The guy at Banana Republic probably owns every piece of clothing they sell! (even the women's stuff)
Right?
Who better to ask about movies than the guy who works at a movie rental shop? And since this particular movie-rental-shop-guy looked especially un-cool, it suggested to me that he probably had nothing better to do than watch movies. He was probably a movie addict - the sort of fellow who woke two hours early, just so he could get in a movie before beginning his day.
So, I asked... "We're trying to find something to rent. Can you recommend anything?"
"Oh sure! What kind of movies do you like?" he replied, with just a little too much enthusiasm.
"Well, we like action films I guess."
That's a lie. I think that, as a man, I come pre-programmed to say dumb shit on occasion. It's in my DNA to say things that represent a more 'manly' persona. Bullshit. My favorite movie is When Harry Met Sally.
"Oh man! I've got just the thing for you guys, and you're lucky it's in. Have you seen Reservoir Dogs? It's not exactly an action movie, but it's GREAT!"
Not exactly an action movie sounded like more than enough action enough for us - especially for me, being that I'm not really an action-movie guy... so, we rented it.
If you haven't seen Reservoir Dogs, it's basically a movie about a bunch of men waiting for something to happen. They stay in a house and they wait. And they wait. And wait. And so did we...
We watched that entire freaking movie, expecting that - at any moment - all hell will break loose and the film will suddenly kick ass. Woo hoo! "Here it comes... any minute now... they were just building up suspense first." Or so we assumed.
But nothing happened.
We watched.
We waited.
Nothing happened.
And then, in a flash, the people who'd been waiting in the house... the people who'd been waiting for so long... they decided to leave. "Ah-HA! Here it comes! The action we'd been promised."
In an instant, with a giant bang, all of the men simultaneously shot each other and died end of story fade to black and roll the god damn credits over a soundtrack of songs that'll end up on the soundtrack even though they weren't in the fucking movie.
"WHAT?!?!"
An entire movie where nothing happens? We were pissed!
I often see my cat Tucker doing the same thing... He sits in front of the TV and watches his favorite show, just waiting for something to happen. Except that his favorite show is his own reflection in a TV that isn't even on.

It's "The Tucker Show." No action - it's pure suspense - but in the end, nothing ever happens and the poor little guy walks away feeling cheated.
::::: | Filed under: photos
::::: | Posted Saturday, Jul 02 2005 at 12:05 PM
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Tucker said:
The Tucker Show is alive and well in Branson, MO
I know because I am Tucker
::::: | Posted June 19, 2007 8:46 AM
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