"Oh god, please, not already..."
There's a clearly established early morning routine in this household, and somebody isn't holding up his end of the deal.
Lately, Simon has been altering the routine.
He used to lie in bed calmly, waiting for signs of life from me. Once I started my morning mumbles ("Urg." "Eh?" "Mmmmph." YAWWWN.") he would then start circling: he'd walk along my side, over my head, along my other side, across my chest - aaaaand repeat, until I finally get up.
But recently, he's started circling around 7am instead of 8, and my response has been less than positive. I NEED that last hour of sleep.
This morning, the circling started at 7:10. "Oh come ON Simon! Not Yet."
And that's when it happened.
Look - I don't always wake up with the best of morning breath. You probably don't either. After a good night's sleep, it happens. Right?
So... Simon was circling. I scolded him. As I spoke, he leaned in - as if he was paying attention - but did he care what I said? Did he even listen? Was he repulsed by my morning breath?
He leaned in... he took a sniff... and grinned as he licked his chops.
What can I say? Cats are strange creatures...