Here's Why He's Not Interested

Dear Not Yet His Girlfriend;

I've got a piece of news for you, and there's no sense beating around the bush with this one.

He's gay.

Accept it and move on - because, let's face it, you're not getting any younger, and he will never be the one. You're waiting for him, but he's waiting for him too.

Before you freak out and start questioning my judgment, take a moment.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Now think about this from a different perspective. Rather than wondering why people think he's gay, ask yourself: "How could he *NOT* be gay?"

Oh sure, he's a good enough looking guy. He's charming and he's intelligent. He's got more money than he knows what to do with. Most would say he's quite a catch... and yet, somehow, he's always the bridesmaid, never the bride... Hhhhmmmmm. Always the third wheel or conveniently single... hhhmmmm. Always befriending women but not exactly dating them. Hhhmmmmmmm...

"Well, there was that one girl who..." dot dot dot.

Oh come on. It doesn't take a bloodhound to sniff out that story. She wanted more than he could give, wink wink, nudge nudge, ahem.

Isn't it interesting how quality women seem interested in HIM, yet he always finds a reason why they're not even worth pursuing? Now think about what sort of women he finds attractive. They lack curves, don't they? They look a lot like... one might go so far as to say.... boys?

You betcha.

Get with the program girl. There's a reason you two are best friends. Hell, you're practically sisters. "You've got it all wrong! He's afraid to make a move because it might damage the friendship." Rrrrrrrright. But you've told him point blank that you want something more. You've made it crystal clear that he can have you if he wants you. Still, he's not interested. And what's this? He's not seeing anyone else either. Maybe it's not *YOU* he's not interested in. Maybe it's women - period.

Imagine for a moment that you are gay but have not yet come to accept your sexuality. What might you do to conceal this from your friends and family? Well golly gee... isn't that precisely what he is doing?

Big shock.

"But ...but... but!" Take your time. I'll pause while the light comes on.



You need to move on - in the romantic sense. And if you're half the friend to him you think yourself to be, you need to be understanding. Look into those pre-prison Martha Stewart eyes of his and remember that he is still your best friend. His sexuality is his issue, not yours. And, really, his sexuality shouldn't be an issue at all.

That Voice In Your Head

P.S. I bet some of your friends would tell you the same.

::::: | Wednesday, Feb 23 2005 at 5:51 PM
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