Jalpuna

Application For Getting Oneself Knocked Up

1. Dating a relative is:
a. Hot!
b. Something ev'ra'budy does 'round here
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

2. Walmart is:
a. Where I buys me my wine in a box
b. Where I gots me a gun rack on layaway
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

3. Monster Truck Shows are:
a. How I teach my kids about defensive drivin'
b. A date that'll sho' nuff get me laid I tell you what
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

4. Mobile Homes are:
a. Don' you mean 'manufactured homes'?
b. If only... man tha'd be livin'
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

5. Chewing Tobacco is
a. The first thing my ganmaw taught me bout
b. Sexy spittin'!
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

6. A 4 Wheel Drive Pickup With Naked Lady Mudflaps Is
a. Where I shows off my Bush/Cheney sticker
b. Awe, mine got repossessed las' week
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

7. A Hoedown is
a. Where I got knocked up the last time
b. What happens when mama stands up cuz you know she jus' can' handle her Boone's Farm like she used to
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

8. A Sick Baby Belongs
a. At home
b. At a restaurant
c. Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

* * * * * * * * * * *

A recent trip to suburbia served as a reminder that we've got birth control 100% wrong in this country. Intelligent people are taking precautions in order to not have children while idiots pump out babies with reckless abandon.

Surely there has to be a better way.

I'm not saying the above questionnaire is the answer, but maybe it's a step in the right direc...

...oh, never mind.

::::: | Monday, Nov 29 2004 at 9:53 AM
::::: |


Comments:


Andy said:

If only it were so simple to turn off and on a biological function like a drivers license.

oh - what are the correct answers?

::::: | December 1, 2004 4:41 PM




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