Jalpuna

I've Changed My Opinion On Gay Marriage

In an effort to make my position on this issue crystal clear, I'm going to first state my position and then I will explain it via a mathematical equation. The changes of opinion are noted with an asterisk [*].

Here's where my position on gay marriage gets a little tricky:

I mention this because the woman who cut my hair this afternoon was quite possibly one of the ten most adorable women on earth. She is gay and living with her girlfriend. This woman had a lovely body, cute curly hair and a warm, honest face. She was intelligent, creative, charming, and had the words "Good Person" written all over her from head to toe. I've no doubt that her relationship is superb and that her girlfriend is a lucky woman...

...which brings me to the issue at hand:

This woman seemed to be a marvelous human being, and I'm willing to bet her girlfriend is marvelous as well. I love it when good people find each other - but ladies!!! You're completely skewing the math - math I will now oversimplify for the sake of proving my completely flawed point.

[NOTE: the numbers that follow are scientifically accurate to a degree of plus or minus the total number]

Here's The Equation:

There are nearly two million people living in the Portland Metro area - within a reasonable dating distance. It's actually 1,837,209 people.

First, let's deal with the 767,214 men.

Out of the 769,995 women in the Portland area...

...my potential dating pool consists of those within a reasonable age difference that aren't married. That's 47,914 women [yes, I've counted]

Using that number as a starting point...

OH - MY - GOD - !!!!! My entire potential dating pool here in Portland boils down to 15 women?

!!!! FIFTEEN WOMEN !!!!

Can you now understand why I am against gay marriage when the two women in question are attractive and potentially phenomenal human beings too? I know, I know I know... they're gay, meaning they wouldn't find me sexually attractive anyway.

...sigh...

Thus, the stunning, charming, and otherwise adorable woman I met today can't be factored into RPDP [Rob's Potential Dating Pool]. Neither can her girlfriend. Where are the other 13 women? Hhhmmmmm...

::::: | Monday, Jun 14 2004 at 10:08 PM
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Comments:


twin said:

hilarious!

::::: | February 7, 2008 4:51 PM


natalie said:

you are odd (in a good way). relax.

::::: | September 19, 2008 2:51 PM




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