Walking Through Memories Of Me

I went to the movies yesterday to see "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind". Good lord did this movie leave me feeling sad sad sad. Don't get me wrong... I LOVED IT - but sheesh...

First, let's start with the fact that I'm an idiot. I knew it was a Jim Carey movie, so I assumed it was... well... a 'Jim Carey' movie. I'd seen a short preview a few months ago, and thus knew the premise was the idea of erasing someone from your memory.

"Great... His ex-girlfriend has him erased from her memory - so he does the same & then wackiness ensues."

Wackiness definitely did not ensue.

I'd bet there was an entire half hour of the movie during which I wanted to get the hell out of there. It was difficult to watch as he tried to figure out what was going on while his memories were being zapped, one by one. It was difficult to watch as he remembered - and basically relived - ugly times with his ex. It was difficult to watch as he relived wonderful memories with his ex. It made me really sad when he realized he was about to lose one particular memory & cried out - desperately - "NO! Not that one! Please! At least let me keep that one!"

Part of what made me sad about the movie is that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. My birthday is on the 24'th & I'm in a giant state of flux right now. There's a potential 'big' job within my reach... if I want it. And there's the Peace Corps application which I've yet to complete - assuming I want to do that right now. Talk about going in opposite directions!

And then there's the love life. I KNOW I want THAT! What can I say? I miss being in love. Eternal Sunshine made me think about my own past relationships. I've always said that despite the things that may have gone wrong in a relationship, the good outweighs the bad... otherwise, there never would have been a relationship at all. Just because it didn't last the test of time doesn't mean I regret any of the time spent in a past relationship. Endings are sad, but the good times spent together prove that love is soooooooooo worth it.

Still, I'm not sure I'd want to walk through memories of relationships-past because revisiting those good times would just remind me of the things I am missing today.

I know - I know - I know: It's all about timing. Finding love is really finding the right person at the right time. As my old friend Josie pointed out in yesterday's comments, I'm good at giving advice on such matters - but I'm not good at taking it.

Oh well.

One thing's for sure - I definitely would NOT want to walk through memories of me because I am my own worst critic.

On a side note - comedian Alan King passed away today. He was 76 years old & died of lung cancer. While it's sad to see anyone talented die, we should all be so lucky to live to be 76 years old. I remember him best - oddly enough - as the father of Billy Crystal's character in a 1988 movie called 'Memories Of Me'. It's a comedy that seemed more sad than funny to me about a son trying to put back together his relationship with his father. A sad film, but one I really enjoyed.

Goodbye Alan King. May you rest in peace.

::::: | Sunday, May 09 2004 at 11:59 PM
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Jos said:

Yowza! Let's see... I spent so much time avoiding Love, because I'm an obsessive-compulsive who couldn't relinquish control. But I'll tell you what worked for him. Just walk up to a girl in a movie theater and begin with, "Hello, I want to introduce myself to you. My name is Erik." Or in your case, "my name is Rob." Bing! Bang! boom! And married within the year, honeymooning in Greece.

::::: | May 19, 2004 5:16 PM

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