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Unibrowism

I'm afraid of anyone with just one eyebrow extending over both eyes.

I see one of these people on the street and I know that because this person looks a little different than I, this person is likely to beat the holy hell out of me. After all, appearance is everything, isn't it? And you KNOW what they say about those unibrow people. They're just not 'right'. Or left! They're BOTH at the SAME TIME!!!

The unibrow is clearly the work of Satan himself.

I know that because a person has a little more hair right there than I do, he or she must be untrustworthy. Statistics prove it to be so.

And don't even get me started on those plucker fuckers! It's not about 'looking' like the rest of us [the superior two-eyebrow race]. It's about BEING one of us. How DARE anyone be different... or - dare I say it - 'unique'? Eww eww eww!!! We're supposed to all be exactly the same dammit! We're all supposed to be just - like - ME!

Where do you think the phrase 'highbrow' comes from? It refers to the better, more lofty brow - which a person of unibrow stature cannot have because such a person lacks a 'lowbrow'.

If the brow don't split, you isn't fit.

OK, this is obviously sheer mockery. But is it any different to judge based on the length of one's eyebrows verses judging based on the color of one's skin? It saddens me that we're not beyond that. Then again, I was shocked to realize it was only 50 years ago segregated schools were declared unconstitutional thanks to Brown Verses The Board Of Education. I was born in the 70's and that happened in the 50's. It's not really that long ago when you put it in perspective. Progress has been made, but we've got a long way to go... and I'm not simply referring to race relations here. All too often it seems that we fear our differences rather than celebrating them.

::::: | Sunday, May 23 2004 at 12:07 AM
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