Not Necessarily 'Lost' Loves

Every now and then, my mind wanders through thoughts of lost loves - relationships that were so strong yet ended for whatever reason. I'm thankful for every one of them ...not that there were many... geez, that makes me sound like some sort of man-whore. No! I'm a good guy. I've dated wonderful people who've brought beauty and joy into my life - but that doesn't make being single any more appealing today.

Some men love the single life... chasing after the woman of the moment... getting lost the excitement of it all. "Ooh, something new!" Maybe it's about validation or power... who knows... A friend recently suggested it's about being able to get something rather than actually having it. What a bizarre messed-up concept.

I've never been that guy. To me, first dates are good, second dates are better... a year into it is better still as the excitement of the unknown evolves into the comfort, security and freedom of the known.

"Freedom?" Yes freedom. The better you know somebody, the more free you feel when it comes to just being yourself... right?

Sex is the same: the first time is beautiful - so exciting and new. But the second time is better, and a year into it, the sex is better still. I mean, really... What an amazing thing to share with someone. The feel of another's body - giving and receiving pleasure... Bliss! But when *LOVE* and *SEX* come together... how could I even begin to put something so astounding into words? It's sheer beauty, and it saddens me to think of how many people never let themselves feel deeply enough to get there.

Too often, people fear the possibility of an ending so much that they deny themselves a beginning. "I'll never let someone get close enough to hurt me like that again." Then how can you ever feel the depth of joy that IS 'love' again? I couldn't imagine a life without it... I miss it now as I am single, and I'm thankful for every moment I got to experience it. Every moment of holding hands, sharing innermost thoughts, doing the silly things that couples in love do, opening my world to someone and taking in hers as she opens to me... I'm thankful for every moment.

Even after a relationship has ended, the beauty of moments spent together will be something I carry with me. It makes me a better man. I think it's fine to learn from a failed relationship. It's important to figure out what went wrong & hopefully learn about yourself in the process - but damn - I see people carry around the pain of a lost love like some sort of badge of honor.

I learn from the pain, but keep the beauty.

I don't fear love.

Some day, I will get to keep it. Oh happy day indeed...

::::: | Monday, May 17 2004 at 11:40 AM
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