Jalpuna

Fossil Fuels and Middle School Math

Human STUPIDITY will never cease to amaze me.

NEVER.

I received a spam email tonight from my uncle. I receive many of these, but feel too guilty to say "STOP IT!!!!" Instead, I foolishly reply to a few of the most ignorant while deleting the rest.

I tried once to drop a hint that I'm not interested... but my hint went unnoticed.

...sigh...

My real problem with the spam I receive is that so much of it is sexist/racist/homophobic/and downright hateful & self-righteous in nature. Worse still - much of it is right-wing political mantra, sent to me by a Christian. I'm sorry - but that's a contradiction in terms. How can you believe in a god while being just fine with killing people your god supposedly created in his likeness?

I wish people would practice what they preach. I'm fine with religion... but if you say it - THEN BELIEVE IT and live your life accordingly. If you believe in 'god', isn't it then realistic to expect one day to be at the 'pearly gates' and have Saint Peter [or whoever] look you in the eye and say "So, there were great wars in your lifetime during which many of those whom god created in his own likeness were killed. And it says here that you thought this was good."

Hhhhmmmmmmmm...

Maybe Saint Peter will have an exemption for Republicans? Or maybe he'll be sick that day & his temp will be too stupid to notice as a gun-toting-war-monger walks on through rather than being shown the escalator down to you know where...


Here's a summary of the ignorant email that set me off on this rant tonight:

Subject: MAY 19 -- BUY NO GAS

IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT PURCHASE A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.

Talk about pie-in-the-sky ignorance. If we chose not to use English for a generation it would become a dead language... but I don't see it happening any time soon...

Et tu?

THEREFORE MAY 19TH HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT TO THEM DAY" AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF GASOLINE THAT DAY.

"Formally Declared" ...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright.

:)

THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT.

Me? ...I thought only *I* could prevent forest fires. You mean I prevent forest fires AND forward email too? I never got that memo.

SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD. FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND MAKE MAY 19TH A DAY THAT THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES SAY "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr right what ever.


Why is spam always written by someone with a minimal grasp of logic and grammar? Is it the same reason aliens always bring people from rural Louisiana aboard their space-ships for a tour & belly-botton-rectal-exam?

I thought so.

So...


...Dear Right Winger;

I'm completely in favor of getting away from our dependence on foreign oil and environment damaging fossil fuels... but let's do some of the most basic middle school math here. Pull out a calculator if you must. I'll wait...

...ready? OK!

Let's say that lots of people decide not to buy gas on May 19th & it amounts to a 01% decline in sales revenue for the day at gas stations nationwide. NO - Let's say 'WORLDWIDE' ...Wowee!

Granted, A 0.0000001% decline is more likely - if that. Look it up next week and you'll see that I was right when this non-story is nowhere to be found... But still... let's assume that Santa Clause exists, that the Easter Bunny pumps out a shitload of eggs, and that on May 19th, there will be a one percent drop in revenue at gas stations worldwide.

Hell - let's assume it's a revenue decline of TEN percent!!!!! Do you realize how many tens of millions of people's participation that would require? Still - let's assume that it is so [much like the 'creating the world in 7 days that weren't really 24 hour days' story. That there Darwin fella's fulla' shit, right?]

So, we've agreed to assume that ten percent of ALL people on PLANET EARTH who would have bought gas on May 19th miraculously decided not to.

What do you think will happen on MAY 20TH?

Sales will INCREASE by TEN PERCENT because the same people that didn't buy gas on the 19th would still need it.

[insert a brief pause here as the light comes on]


The problem isn't that people BUY THE GAS.

God, how stupid ARE you?

The problem is that car-dependent IDIOTS buy vehicles that aren't fuel efficient in the first place. Knock knock knock!!! Common sense calling. Anybody home?

Get a clue: GAS GUZZLERS exist because "won't practice what they preach" sons of bitches BUY THEM. Have you checked out what the top selling vehicles are in this country? Here are the top 3 for April 2004:

  1. Ford F-Series pickup
  2. Chevy Silverado-C/K pickup
  3. Dodge Ram pickup
The Ford Explorer, Chevy Blazer, GMC Grand Cherokee, Ford Expedition, Chevy Tahoe and Ford Ranger are pretty high on the list too. Talk about fuel efficiency! Did we all suddenly move to Montana? A quick look at any city street suggests otherwise.

How many people even LOOK at fuel efficiency when buying a car? Oh, they may SAY they do - but look at sales figures. The Hummer H2 gets LESS than TEN MILES TO THE GALLON, but that hasn't hurt sales one freaking BIT.

Frauds.


A man walks up to his doctor and says: "Doc it hurts when I do this."

Doc replies: "Don't do that."


Got a vehicle that WASTES gas? Do you drive when you could have WALKED? Do you move into the suburbs and reinforce a lifestyle based on fossil fuels from foreign nations whom we supply with weapons until the day our so called "CHRISTIAN" pResident decides it's A-OK to kill countless people he believes his own god created while he attempts to oust a leader whom his own political party empowered?


...ring ring...

"Hello IRAQ? How 'ya doin'? United States calling... It's the 1980's and we don't like IRAN. Need weapons?" Click. Work out shady deal. Iran-Contra-etc. Ship arms now, deny later. Not a problem. "I don't recall."


...ring ring...

"Hello IRAQ? It's us again in the United States... year 2003. How ya' doin'? Not bad? Well, not for long. See, we goofed on that whole weapons thing and we're gonna' bomb you back into the stone age while killing countless innocent civilians because that's what our Christian pResident believes is right."


Rob replies: It hurts the world AND your own country WHEN YOU DO THAT.

::::: | Wednesday, May 19 2004 at 1:38 AM
::::: |


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