Bite The Wax Tadpole

A few random quotes today:

• Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool. - George Carlin

• I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. - Lily Tomlin

• The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams

• What would this country be without this great land of ours? - Dan Quayle [Well Dan, we'd be the ocean]

• It takes a special kind of stupid to pull some shit like that.
  

  That's possibly my all time favorite quote... by Marsha Warfield

• Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

• I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job. - George H. W. Bush [during his first Presidential campaign]

• I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

• Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde [a great quote - but so much for romance, eh?]

• What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. - Dave Barry

• Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. - Woody Allen

• It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln

• Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired. - Robert Frost

• Bite the wax tadpole. - Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese

• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

• Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Berry [former mayor of Washington, D.C]

• Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - Mariah Carey

• My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. - Ronald Reagan [about to go on the air for a radio broadcast & unaware that the microphone was already on]

In closing - a question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

• Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because, if we were supposed to live forever, then we should live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

::::: | Tuesday, May 18 2004 at 12:44 PM
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