Jalpuna

Having Those Thoughts Again

I love going to the movies... I enjoy the entire experience, and I can be somewhat annoying about it if I'm with the wrong person. Some people can walk in during the previews... Not me. I'll bail on the movie and go another day rather than walk in during the previews. "But the movie hasn't even started yet!" It doesn't matter. Also - I can skip the popcorn if I *HAVE TO* but I will be disappointed. I may deny it at the time... "no really, it doesn't matter. I'm fine." But the thing is, it DOES matter and I'm NOT fine. I want my popcorn & something to sip on. These things are all a part of the moviegoing experience. And then, when I'm moderately comfy in my preferably-stadium-seating seat, and the lights go down, a story will unfold before my very eyes.

How cool.

After the movie comes the requisite discussion of what we've just seen. Was it great? Was it bad? Did it live up to expectations? Did it cause one of us to leave a little brown stain where we sat? (probably not of course, but you get the idea)

Movies are so disposable these days. I'm sick and tired of everything being CGI'd to the point where I'm watching a damn cartoon. Is it Saturday morning? Am I eating Coco Puffs? I don't think so [Vin Diesel & The Rock, YES I'm talking to you]... I'm also sick of plot twists I can spot from 35 miles away. With my vision, I shouldn't be able to see ANYTHING from 35 miles away!!!

I went to see High Crimes in 2002 (yes I AM an IDIOT). I figured out the ending five minutes into the movie & still had to sit through it because... well... because I was a man on a date & that's what a man on a date does I guess. Then again, I'm single, so it's not as if I'm one to judge what a man on a date should do... right?

Right.

I could go on and on about the big budget blunders... but this past Saturday, I went to see an indie film called What The BLEEP Do We Know, and I've gotta tell ya, the movie really changed me.

What The BLEEP is a half-story/half-documentary about Quantum Physics... which I found to be a halfway point between fascinating and heebiejeebiebullshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. But I left the theatre feeling really inspired, even though my feelings had little to do with the topic of the film.

I left the theatre feeling full of life... reminded of the beauty of - and the importance of - taking steps in the right direction. But what direction?

I've been struggling with that question for a while now. I left my radio career behind in 2001 & started putting the pieces together for what I wanted my life to be. The first step was to get the hell out of Dallas Texas! I moved to Portland & just expected things to come together here. I'll fall in love with a wonderful woman and find a new career... I'll make new friends and build a new life. Well, I made some amazing friends and continue to do so. But the love thing hasn't happened, and the career hasn't happened [apologies to any clients who may read this, but I'm just freelancing to pay the bills] In many ways I still feel like I'm at square one when it comes to building a life here. Honestly, that's fine because the beginning is always so ripe with possibilities. Potential for magic abounds! But still, I have to ask myself: am I waiting for something to happen? What's with this sense of limbo I feel like I'm in? I'm an overachiever by nature... so what's holding me back from taking bold steps towards chasing my dreams?

I've got dreams. If ever there were a dreamer on this big old rock we call earth - HELLO!!!! It's me. I've got big dreams, and my dreams often come true when I take initiative.

I'm a huge believer in the idea of "If not now, then WHEN?" I see it all the time... people put off living because they're not ready for whatever... Not ready to be in love, not ready to go back to school, not ready to seek that next step in their career, not ready for whatever it is they want in their heart of hearts. I'd rather try and fail than put off and maybe miss out.

I can't help feeling that life is calling. Portland is the home I always dreamt of having - but it will always be here, if I were to wander for - say - 27 months. I can come back to it.

Of course, this is just a thought... but then again, I've had these sorts of thoughts before.

Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm...

::::: | Wednesday, Apr 21 2004 at 10:21 PM
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Comments:


KES said:

Hello,

Just curious if you know where this movie, "What the bleep do we know" is playing? Keep in mind I found myself on this webpage doing a google search. So unfamiliar with the site, person I am communicating with. Any info you have is greatly appreciated. You mentioned Dallas, TX - which is where I live. Is it playing here somewhere?

Thanks!

KES

::::: | May 5, 2004 7:34 PM


Rob said:

Hello!

I used to live in Dallas, but these days Iím in Portland OR.

ďWhat The BleepĒ is a phenomenal film! Whether or not you agree with it, itíll leave you thinking. I loved it!

Iím going to guess that when the film makes it to Dallas, itíll be at the Angelica on Mockingbird.

Sadly, I donít see any Texas dates yet - but hereís a link to check every now and then:

http://www.whatthebleep.com/showdates/

::::: | May 5, 2004 7:50 PM




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