Jalpuna

Chip's & Fish

This past summer, I dated a girl named Jessie. We never really clicked in a dating sense though. Looking back on it, I realize that the friendship brought us together, and then we kept dating out of fear of messing up the friendship by breaking up. The exact opposite happened when we actually DID break up however. The friendship just kept getting better and better.

After we broke up, we decided to meet once a week on a set schedule for dinner, that way there was no way we could lose touch as life gets hectic. We go to a little sushi place on Northwest 23'rd ave called Sushiville. We call it Conveyor Belt Sushi, because they've got a conveyor belt that carries little plates of sushi around the restaurant & you grab them as they go by. The place has almost got a nouveau-blanc-garbage vibe...

The wait staff tends to be strange - but mostly cool. There was a woman I called "Pork-Chops" because she had an Ally MacBeal 90-pound thing going on. I'd always say to Jessie after dinner that that girl needed some pork chops! And stove top stuffin'! Pork Chops was a real cutie, but she had a bizarre voice. It was so high pitched that it actually had two parts to it - the part people could hear, and the part that only dogs could hear... but she was cute, friendly and moderately attentive. Jess & I got to the point where we looked forward to seeing Pork Chops' smiling face over dinner... but then one day, there was no more Pork Chops. She'd been replaced by some chipmonk looking guy. Not chipmonk in the traditional sense... I'm referring more to the cartoon variety. Maybe he doesn't look like a chipmonk at all. How many chipmonks have a goatee? I don't know...

Anyway - Chip seems to be a nice guy. Like Pork Chops before him, Chip is friendly & attentive. He's seen us enough times that we're at the small talk stage. We chit chat about ab-so-lute-ly nothing, and it's fun because it's all part of the experience.

At the end of the meal, we always split an ice cream for desert. Jess has a thing for the green tea ice cream, so that's what we have. She says to Chip: "One green tea ice cream & two spoons." Chip's right eyebrow rises higher than his left & he smiles with an inquisitive grin causing him to look even more chipmonkesque than usual. He returns a few minutes later with the ice cream and an invisible fishing pole.

He casts out. "Two spoons!" Clearly, chip's got something on his mind. He's fishin'. "You guys are a cute couple!"

Jessie takes the bait with a conversational nibblenibble tug. "Oh we're not dating... it's more ice cream than I need after all that sushi."

"Oh!?" Chip's reeling her in.

Jessie's got his bobber bouncing... Under! Bounce bounce! "Well we were dating & we came in here all the time but now we're just friends."

Chip's giving her a little line, then reeling in again. "Man that's great that you guys are like that! That's great!"

Like any man would do in my situation, I'm digging in to the ice cream and pretending this scene isn't even happening. A mini-giggle for me & that's it. Spoon in ice cream, spoon in mouth.

As we walk out of the restaurant, I mention to her that Chip was flirting with her and fishing for info... Jessie hadn't noticed.

Honestly, I think it's just part of the rules and responsibilities that come with owning a penis. When a single man sees a cute woman & has the opportunity to prod her for info, he does it - instinctively.

Is she single?
Does she like me?
Will she go out with me?

Working as a waiter is probably a great way to meet women... but my favorite picking-up-women-through-one's-job situation has to be the time my friend Holly had a guy at a mattress store hit on her. Oh the questions THAT guy can ask on his fishing expedition...

"How much support do you really NEED?"
"Is this mattress just for YOU?"
"Are you more concerned with comfort for sleeping, or...?"

Oh the possibilities are endless!

::::: | Monday, Apr 05 2004 at 11:12 PM
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