What Ever Happened To Stupid People?

I have no idea why I wonder about these things, but I can't help that I do...

Remember how years ago, dumbasses were everywhere? I knew who they were. You knew who they were. EVERYBODY knew who they were. Things were simpler then... ahhh, I remember it like it was just a lot of years ago, and I was still a kid in high school:

Jimmy had the attention span of a gnat.
Johnny was 17 and still snorting milk out his nose. Intentionally, I might add.
Billy couldn't figure out where all his money went after he... uhh... *spent* it.
Larry would show up late for work every day because the many buttons on his clock confused him. Again..
Spacey Tracy was on a planet of her own for chrissakes!
And I'm not even going to mention Big-Balls-Barry who took one too many kicks in the shorts.

These people used to be dumb... but NOW.... thanks to marvels of modern medicine, they've each got a custom fit disease to serve as a handy excuse. And - how cool is this - these people now get to dope themselves up on pills of various colors, shapes and sizes while playing the three-step-blame-shift game. "I'm not stupid, I have an ACRONYM! It's not that I have an ACRONYM, it's these stinking pills. Maybe I'll stop taking them, and then I can be just stupid again, except that I have an ACRONYM!

ADD. AADD. ADHD. ETC! And let's not forget a trillion variants of each.

What the heck is ADHD anyhoo? Attention Deficit Hempabusers Disorder?

But hey, don't ask me... I'm TOWPCPTLCAFWYNKWEWWY!

[Tired Of Watching Pharmaceutical Companies Peddling Their Latest Cure All For What You Never Knew Wasn't Even Wrong With You]

::::: | Wednesday, Mar 10 2004 at 12:53 AM
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