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The Loveseat
In the far side of my living room sits my couch. I rescued it from Goodwill two years ago, and I thought that would form a meaningful bond between us - but apparently my couch has its doubts. We had a 'conversation' last night that went a little something like this:
Couch: "Where's the woman?"
Me: "Huh? ...what woman?"
Couch: "The woman you were on a date with tonight."
Me: "I wasn't on a date tonight... I went to the movies with a friend. Remember when we watched a review of the new Harry Potter movie together? Well I went to see it."
Couch: "Do you know what I am man? I'm a LOVESEAT. If you don't find a woman, my whole existence is pointless don't you think?"
Me: "What?!?"
Couch: "Oh come on! Get with the program! What's a loveseat without love!?!"
Me: "Are you afraid I'm getting rid of you - because I'm not."
Couch: "I'm afraid I'm going to linger here in shame. A loveless loveseat am I!"
OK, it was really being more of a drama-couch than a loveseat, but I've got to admit it had a point...
The bottom line is that something has to change around here. I was reading the last David Sedaris book this morning. I set the book down on my couch & got up for a cup of coffee... and when I came back the book was gone.
GONE.
Now I'm not pointing any fingers [couch couch couch] but I suspect it was eaten in protest. My couch is trying to tell me that it needs more love than a single guy can give. Well, it's also pissed that I keep calling it "The Couch That Ate Portland" even though it's really a LOVESEAT. ...but that's another story.
::::: | Filed under: dating, favorites
::::: | Posted Sunday, Jun 06 2004 at 10:18 PM
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